Thailand: Did you make any bad decisions?


2 Yaksha statues guarding Wat Arun Entrance and manicured trees on the side
The Yakshas guarding Wat Arun entrance, Bangkok

“Bangkok, like Las Vegas, sounds like a place where you make bad decisions.” Todd Phillips

The above quote about Thailand proved to be otherwise for me personally. Before and after Thailand it has been a constant barrage of enquiries about how I broke the rules in Thailand and how I planned to go bonkers in Thailand. As if the country is solely for people who need to get it out of their systems and that one is free of all censure there. When I share my happy and spiritual experience in the land of Thailand, I am met with wild expressions of disbelief and mockery suggesting that I entirely wasted my sojourn. Really?

I don’t think so!

I had the most amazing time with my kid and in laws!

Okay, again… I can literally hear the loud and deafening guffaws! The knives are already out!

But hear me out peeps, The Land of Smiles has something for everyone as is evident from scores of media out there on the net about varied but undeniably special experience one has over there. Bangkok and Pattaya are really good destinations to experience with an open mind (Not so open that your brains fall out though).

Circles in Time


' Time and tide wait for no man', yet it all depends on us how it moves ahead. 'Butterfly effect', they say. Going through daily events around the world, sometimes I wonder if we ever had any control over anything that happens. It is like we are doomed to make the same mistake over and over again since we always fail to see the bigger picture or we deliberately tune ourselves off from reason. If you know me well enough, you know I'm an optimist at heart. But, maybe it is the corona effect and this is cathartic for me...


Circles in Time

Forever Scored

Memories dull, Emotions swell

Only permanence

Sole soul knoll

Round and round all rhymes go

Wicked little gnomes do tarry

      Gnawing gnawing knowing…

 

Circle time,

Time, our stoic coach,

Stumbling neophytes

Round and round we go

Blissful herd of ignoramuses

Grazing high on Capital Sins

 

Merry souls would

Always scurry bury bury

Round and round go sacred carvings

Circles in time

Forever etched

On stones

Grave stories they tell

 

Circles in Time

mutable permanence

The ring, mandala, ensō,

Hecate’s Wheel

The same

Eternally unabating

Waltzing rhythms,

Energies synergies

 

We are everywhere

And nowhere

We learn unlearn

Our social memories fickle

Our existence,

Mere spec in time

Condemned to wallow in reprise?













Self

What is Self?


The capital ‘I’

That we hold on to, so dearly,

Is there any ‘real’ coherent self

That we vainly defend


Self is but

A will-o’-the-wisp

A receding wave that never comes back

A sandy desert which changes its contour every moment

A butterfly that eludes our grasp

A constant flux of ideas

A construct

To Fool……To Divide

The Man …….The Woman

The West...........……The East

The Master .....……The Slave

The White........……The Black

The Self…........….The Other


Self is not one, but many,

Self is, but not steady,

It evolves with every word we record,

Every structure we make,

Self is, but not...


# Constructs # Self # Identity # Language


@ Anu Maheshwari. First Published in 2006 in Panorama Magazine, A TakingITGlobal Publication. 


Love at First Sight...


I waited for you in earnest...

Stories I read, tales I spun in my dreams,

The love I felt growing each day in anticipation…

The day my eyes fell upon you; I knew…

Like a moth that flies towards the flame,

The snowflake that falls on your fingertips for warmth alone,

I forgot the world around

I leapt for you with all I had

Pure joy lifting me up, raising me above silly ruses…

Against aches that held me ransom to worldly values

All the love…only love…

Bliss… love… if this is what it is

Little the rest matters,

I will shine bright as the fading star that leaves the sky forlorn

again and again…

to set my eyes upon true love. 


This is what happens when you are away and alone from your love for far too long a time...the seemingly unending separation...memories build up, aches heighten your senses, and a familiar melody, a tune that resonates deep translate into words soon...

I love you...I miss you... 

Time to Learn; Unlearn and Relearn.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda

“Sometimes good choices are really bad ones, wrapped up in so much fear you can’t even see straight.” 

― Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming

At times, there is that momentary overwhelming feeling that everything around you is getting bigger and bigger and like Alice in Wonderland, there is nothing to do but drown in a pool of tears. The current scenario around the world raises some serious doubts about humanity and chances of our survival. So much doubt, fear, hopelessness, distrust, irreverence, and disgust piling up that I wonder at the size of the iceberg below! Although I do play the devil’s advocate, I am an eternal optimist. I sincerely believe that hope is the only thing that can get us through.    

Racism, prejudice, and bigotry exists in all forms everywhere.  I know we are knee deep in shit, but it will help us greatly if we can look at the stars and smile. Lot of people are sharpening their knives, ready to rise, rebel, and shout for what they believe in. And others fight prejudices wherever they see them in person. Although they don’t feel obliged to speak out online publicly, if they can help, they prefer to approach the individual personally. 

Some people around are quick to hurl abuses at the Chinese, coming out with strong convictions of conspiracy theories, of manufactured viruses, and the bullying at the borders (LAC in Ladakh, India). I believe it is important to be conscious of the language and speech we use in such circumstances.  The Chinese and the Chinese Govt are two different entities.  The actions of certain individuals, or groups, or governments cannot be used to stereotype an entire population of unique individuals. Government changes, people can change, boundaries can change, but is it worth losing our humanity over it? Economic decisions and overtures can also happen without the accompaniment of hate spewing posts and vitriol! Our armies and police and other defence agencies are there to take care of military aggressions and issues of law and order. Do we need to hurl stones at each other on top of that? What is our duty as citizens and human beings? Can’t we support our govt, armies, and police and at the same time be decent human beings to others on a personal level. Rhetoric of war is needed for the soldiers to motivate themselves and do their duty. Do we need it in our daily lives to kill time?

I believe reading, travelling, experiencing different cultures broadens our views and I don’t mean, just going places and looking at things as a tourist, disconnected from the surroundings loaded with superficial information about a place and the culture around. It requires empathy, that openness to accept what others are feeling and going through. I am not suggesting that we can all empathise and change the world today. It is easier said than done. What I am hoping for is that we take the first step to understand another human being, their opinions, and viewpoints and just accept that they have the right to feel so. No mocking, no jeering, no judgment, just plain old acceptance!


“never trust anyone

who says 
they do not see color. 
this means
to them,
you are invisible.”

― Nayyirah Waheed


 

Acceptance of all things; not just the obvious differences, but also something seemingly trivial, especially food choices, clothing, fashion, accent, mannerisms, etc.  At the same time, it is absolutely imperative to have a decent amount of self-esteem to begin with. A confident person would always be in a better position to respect and accommodate differences. A person who carries insecurities around in a rucksack will most likely paint everything around in a negative hue!

Covid 19 has confined us all in our ‘safe’ boxes. But I believe it is a chance to read, learn, and watch also. Perhaps learn a new language (it is easier now with so many apps like Lingodeer, memrise, etc). Check out different literatures, listen to songs in different languages, watch drama, documentaries, movies from around the world. Make online friends (following all rules of online safety) and discuss issues. Lot of stuff online is biased and hence it is important to read all possible perspectives to be somewhat informed about issues.  Even our search engines cannot be trusted. The information fed to you is deliberately skewed in the favour of the privileged few. A conscious effort to ignore the first prompts of the search engines has to be made in order to skim even the surface of pertinent issues. Basically, refrain from jumping onto the bandwagon of abuse and attack and have the diligence to patiently know more about things, issues, and people before uttering a single word or taking action.


#No Racism 

#No to Racist Stereotypes 

#No to Algorithms of Oppression ( search engines)

#Respect, acceptance and not just tolerance!

Life in the Time of Corona! (Revised)

He allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

I thought I was done with my rebirth on a sisters’ only voyage to Vietnam, where I felt all my senses come alive once again…I felt light and untethered; full of love and life and a yearning to roam free. But dear Mother Earth, saturated with mankind’s relentless rampage, also had similar realisation about the same time. She also yearned for freedom and rebirth and so the virulent Corona was unleashed upon us locking us down in our very own concrete cages. And while we, her petulant and selfish children are forced to reckon with her rage, most of us are also gaining deep insights on life and what is really important and basic to our lives. Stripped bare off our extravaganzas, we are ‘re’-learning and growing as we shed each layer of superfluous materialistic want.

Inside our lockdowns, everything comes to a standstill, the mundane takes over and all of us line up to carry out our tasks like bots.  For me personally, initial shock and disbelief gave way to frustration and fear and soon I was dry of motivation and ideas, but eventually, it dawned on me again that rebirth is a process and it needs to happen continually regardless of the circumstance. We need to find inspiration in the routine as well as the anomalous, and most importantly, document and realise our ideas and thoughts through a medium most comfortable to us. In this regard, a few things knocked on my gates;

First, national prejudices; times like these also bring out national prejudices where we indulge in branding countries and people and impose our own pre-conceived notions of various nationalities. Let us realise one thing; “You know nothing, Jon Snow[i]!” People are people…they are the same everywhere. We have different traditions, ways of expression and culture, etc., however, beneath the skin and all the external paraphernalia, we are the same bundle of differences and uniqueness. Governments and individuals are however unpredictable; the good are good and the morons are morons everywhere regardless of time and place. I urge people to stay away from generalising, fear mongering, and passing judgments without facts.

Second, Carpe Diem[ii]! A reminder that our lives are transient in nature (and even if it is not and we continue to live for centuries); why don’t we ‘let’ all love freely and ‘responsibly’ in the time we have here. Love is something that doesn’t come easy. Blessed are those who find love and realise what they have! Let us go beyond social taboos and let consenting adults find their happiness in each other regardless of gender, caste, creed, colour, religion, etc.

Third, love thyself; Rebirth, regeneration, rejuvenation, detoxification, call it whatever you want, without love for self, nothing matters, nothing makes sense. So, indulge in some self-growth and self-learning. Read, write, cook, dance, paint, garden, talk, just indulge your fancies and hobbies.

And now, I want to thank our Indian government for prompt and decisive actions in the face of such an invasion. Many people are ready with spears to poke and criticise and find loopholes, but I believe that this time, it was our own irresponsible citizens who were irreverent to government directives and broke the quarantine and spread the malaise( individuals who were stamped for home quarantine and who went ahead and travelled in the train and attended weddings and social events).If only they had followed the directions given at the airport, perhaps we could have avoided a lengthy lockdown today. There were of course a few who can be absolved as they were genuinely unaware of the seriousness of the situation and unwittingly infected all who came in contact. A big salute to our emergency and essential services and defence forces who are carrying out their duties and drills, preparing for all eventualities.

So, people out there, please act responsible! PLEASE! Let us bring this ill to a standstill!



[i] "You Know Nothing, Jon Snow" is a quote attributed to the Wildling character Ygritte from George R. R. Martin's epic fantasy novel series A Song of Ice and Fire.

[ii] Carpe diem is a Latin aphorism, from book 1 of the Roman poet Horace's work Odes (23 BC),which literally means "pluck the day," and was used by the Roman poet Horace to express the idea that we should enjoy life while we can. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/carpe%20diem

Darkness to Light

Darkness or Light

In the darkness lies the secret to all that renews

The seeds of morrow, buried hopes that sprout wings

Although unseen, they need love, care, and faith

Without, they shrivel and wither…

 

All that wanes moves on,

Heralding a fresh start and,

We scamper, looking for refuge in the dust as it settles.

Nature’s “terrible beauty” or “trumpet of prophecy”

What is it that resounds around?

 

Oh, we hear, we hear,

Discern or otherwise

purblind or evolved

Our cages may leave us slow

Resistant to growth

Festering prejudices

We dig shallow graves for humanity…

Or

We shall overcome

As we draw strength from our roots,

we light for ancient wisdom

for universal brotherhood,

trust, and compassion.

 

And together we march…

Away from fear

Into the realm of hope…


Anu Maheshwari

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