The Great Indian Kitchen/Mrs.: The Future of Family System

 The Great Indian Kitchen/Mrs. : The Future of Family System | by Anu maheshwari | Feb, 2025 | Medium

“This is what I want”, Joan Brandwyn boldly asserts to Prof Watson in the iconic movie Mona Lisa Smile. The right to choose your own path to happiness regardless of your gender, is what it is all about.

I am not saying everybody in the world has or can have this privilege. There are financial obligations of course. Some amongst us who have found their vocation will call it financial freedom. There are people who would love to stay at home, take care of the household and indulge in their passion but are not able to for various reasons. But the entire hullabaloo is not about who is doing what! Let us keep gender aside for a moment…forever if we can!

The point is the attitude and lack of emotional support and understanding…the point is the lack of freedom to choose your path…the point is that we are missing the whole point!

I have only watched the original Malayalam movie The Great Indian Kitchen of which Mrs. is the Hindi remake. That movie is a masterpiece! The sheer frustration and disgust that the director was able to evoke from the audience just from the depiction of the never-ending cycle of mundane tasks that the ‘wife’ goes through without respite is brilliant. The intent is not to prove that household work is menial, as the house-help and the aunt were doing the same tasks and not seemingly bothered. The house-help even hummed-aloud doing her ‘job’. However, the ‘wife’ had no agency in that marriage and was a slave in that house.

Even within the boundaries of that traditional family set-up, the ‘husband’ could have empathized, helped and listened when she expressed her desire to work. She could have worked and been happier. Both could have run the household together with senior members contributing to a perfect environment for every human being inside that house. But the weight of superstitions, baggage of ‘man-made traditions’, internalization of patriarchal impositions and the confluence of all things wrong is what erodes that family and most of the families today. The end result is outright revolt where men and women fear marriage and all that paraphernalia that weighs them down after it.

The only way family systems can survive is if it evolves with time and takes the best of traditions along. Family system should act as a support structure, a safe place not otherwise. Traditions are good to have if superstitions are filtered away. Bigotry, hypocrisy and herd mentality have no place in the comfort of a home and family. Families should only have individuals who respect and value each other and help navigate the ups and downs of life together.